Let's talk about bladder and bowel function

Not a sexy topic, I know, but that's exactly why it's one that needs talking about.

Before 1st October my only experience of bladder and bowel issues (Crohn's aside...) was looking after women with pelvic floor trauma from childbirth. I often feel the maternity system belittles these ladies ("it's normal, darling"; "you've just pushed a baby out, things are going to be a bit looser"; "tell your GP if you're still incontinent at your 6 week postnatal check"), the most constructive thing anyone says is "do pelvic floor exercises" (with no teaching or guidance on precisely HOW), and you only earn a referral for physiotherapy if you're 'lucky' enough to have a 3rd or 4th degree tear.

But after 1st October when the nerves supplying my bladder became damaged along with the ones to my legs it's become my issue and, rightly or wrongly, I care a bit more.

A problem was first noticed when I had agonising abdominal pain when I wanted to pass urine. I kept trying to go, but just couldn't. I had my bladder scanned, and there was 2 litres in there (normal capacity is 400-600ml)! Since then I've been catheterised (a tube inserted into my bladder to drain urine into a bag) and feel a lot better. As my prognosis is still very unknown, I don't know how long term a measure this is.

What I'm trying to say loud and clear is: I am 24. A dodgy bladder doesn't just affect elderly people.

So far I've been very limited in who I've seen - it's only been nearest and dearest that have visited and they've all been fantastic about me laying in adult nappies with a bag of piss strapped to my leg. Plans have even been hatched about filling a clean one with wine, smuggling it into a bar, re-inserting it when the wine has gone, and saving myself a trip to the loo later on. I'm a huge fan of inappropriate humour so this is exactly how I want to deal with it.

Sadly though, I know when I get out of hospital it might be a different story. Even some of the nurses in here don't know quite where to look: they feel so awkward (pityful?) about a young woman with a catheter - and they've been trained to deal with it! I suspect I might be negatively judged by some people just for writing this post because it's 'gross' - but why is it okay for me to talk about my leg, but not this? It's the same root cause!

So, those of you still reading: what can you do to help?

Acknowledging it is the most helpful thing. If you're going to the loo (girls tend to go in groups...) don't avoid asking me if I want to come, too. Catheter bags need emptying at the same rate as normal functioning bladders! But at the same time, don't make a special effort to mention it to show how 'fine with it' you are. My bladder function was not part of my identity before 1st October, and it's not going to be after.

I think you've probably all heard enough about my bladder now.

Love Emily x